Brittani tells the story of her pregnancy decision and her experience at CompassCare.
In my mind, when I found I was pregnant I thought I was gonna get an abortion.
I was like, ‘I can’t do this, I’m not gonna be able to do this.’ My boyfriend said that he didn’t really know what to do either, that probably abortion was the best decision for both of us.
Before I came in, uhm, like I said, I was still very indecisive, I was very scared, I didn’t really know what to do or where to start. My first appointment, the baby was really small- uhm, I think I was about five weeks. They sent me home with a picture, and I now knew that something was actually growing inside of me- something was real, it was alive, you know. It wasn’t just people who told me ‘oh, it’s just cells.’
So uhm, me and my boyfriend at the time, we were fighting back and forth. We were like, we’re gonna break up, and you know, they sat me down and they’re like, ‘you know, even if you’re not together, you just have to think that bringing this baby into this world is going to be all on you but here’s… here’s what you have. Here’s the places you can go.
So I definitely recommend them- you know, coming here and speaking to somebody- because they’re not just nurses here- they’re not just… not another number here, they actually take the time to counsel you and talk to you about how you’re feeling and what’s going on in your life that’s making you scared of actually proceeding forward with your pregnancy.
You know, I haven’t met a doctor yet, that will work on your personal problems as well as your medical problems, so I felt really cared for here and when I left I felt like I had a ton of information.
I still wasn’t sure as to what my plan was yet, uhm… and I felt I at least had information about everything that was going on.
I went back and forth in my hand about whether I was going to keep it or not. Uhm, I talked with the father about my decisions we had a couple fights about ’em, and I prayed to God, and asked for a sign because I was really… I still… even though I felt like I knew what I wanted to do, and I was really happy after I heard everything, I still don’t know what was right. And uhm, about an hour later, I called my friend I hadn’t spoke with in a really long time. I was like, ‘hey what’s going on,’ and she’s like, ‘not much what’s going on with you,’ I was like, ‘I just found out I’m pregnant and I don’t know what to do,’ and she’s like, ‘so am I, and I’m actually in the process of having a miscarriage.’
She was in the hospital when I called her. And I just felt so devastated, and she’s like, ‘please, just, you know, keep your baby- really think about what you’re doing, you know- what a mistake it could be if you did it and you completely regretted it.’
I think that that was kind of my wake-up call. I think that if I would have had a miscarriage after that I would have been completely mortified, and uhm, you know that’s when I really decided that ‘alright, you’re doing this, it’s gonna be hard, but you’re actually- you’re going to go through with this.’
I think my future’s gonna be great. It’s… there’s going to be some changes from my original life plan, if you will, but they’re not necessarily bad changes. I’m actually excited now- we’re looking at nursery stuff, and baby clothes, and uhm, you know, I have my family supporting me. This family supporting me is how it doesn’t feel like- uhm- I felt really heavy at first when I was dealing with it by myself and now it feels a lot less heavy- it doesn’t feel like it’s all falling on my shoulders. So I think that moving forward in the future, that everything’s gonna be awesome.